she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
