help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
And my parents said I crawled through the house
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
