Kiss
Puke
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
