A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
