who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
