halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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