I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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