What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
