OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
