CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
