on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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