Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
