would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
