Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
