I think im going to throw up on grandma
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
