remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Those nachos came to me in a dream
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
