after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
