hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
