He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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