cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I need a beard to bite.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
