Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
