11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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