Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
