Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
