He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I smell like Dick and happiness
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
