If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
