He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
