grandma shit on top of the toilet
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
