She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
