I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize