My nipple is on Facebook.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you had me at cake vodka
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
