it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
