Kiss
Puke
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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