ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
