She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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