I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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