well you can't waste a boner
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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