Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
