ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I smell like Dick and happiness
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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