well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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