I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
