Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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