so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
