I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
