Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
