Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
