I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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