You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
