I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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