I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
